All the Whos down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not. The Grinch hated Christmas ó the whole Christmas season. Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the best reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Narrator
YES! DOWN A SIZE AND A HALF!! And this time, I'll keep it off.
The Grinch
Any calls?
The Grinch
You have no messages.
Answering Machine
Odd. Better check the outgoing.
The Grinch
"If you so much as utter one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."
Answering Machine
Blast this christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.
The Grinch
Suffering snorkel blatz! They're relentless!.
The Grinch
Nice kid, bad judge of charecter.
The Grinch
Santa, What Christmas really about?
Cindy Lou Who
Vengeance. I meanÖ presents, I suppose.
The Grinch
Oh, the Who-manity.
The Grinch
It's because I'm green, isn't it?
The Grinch
The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there ó and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, Jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing ó I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
The Grinch
One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.
The Grinch